He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
