that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
