What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
