Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Is Oprah even human
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
