Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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