Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize