They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
