You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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