So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
