I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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