What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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