She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
