I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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