We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
