This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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