All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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