i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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