It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
