No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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