I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
