I understand Curling. That high.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
