people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
