FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
