...so i touched it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
