yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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