You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
