i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
