your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
false alarm. still invincible.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
