thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize