I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
