it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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