"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
