so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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