did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
