Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
