Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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