I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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