i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
