Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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