Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
