I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
