i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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