ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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