I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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