My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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