I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
