and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
