I wish life had little blips of pornography
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
