Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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