woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I am spending my child support on dildos
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
