Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My vagina just clenched in fear
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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