i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
