Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
