I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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