she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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