Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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