WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
