it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
