I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
