That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize