quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
