i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
